What To Do If You’ve Enabled Bad Practice (Without Knowing)
One of the hardest things to come to terms with in this industry is the realisation that you might have, at some point, enabled or defended harmful behaviour without even knowing it. Maybe you’ve recommended someone to others because you had a good experience with them. Maybe you dismissed a rumour as “gossip.” Maybe you publicly supported someone who later turned out to be abusive, manipulative, or exploitative.
If this sounds familiar, I want to start by saying: you are not alone. This industry is structured in a way that makes it very easy for perpetrators to hide in plain sight, and very hard for victims to be heard. Many well-meaning, good people have inadvertently defended the wrong person - not because they’re bad people, but because that’s how power in this industry works.
But if you’ve found yourself in this position, it’s important to pause, reflect, and make sure you don’t continue to be used as a shield by someone who causes harm.
Two Things Can Be True at the Same Time
You might have had a wonderful experience with someone. They might have championed you, given you opportunities, spoken kindly to you, or even felt like a mentor. That can all be true. And it can also be true that they abused or exploited someone else.
Perpetrators are often skilled at presenting one face to some people while behaving very differently behind closed doors with others. If your experience was positive, it doesn’t cancel out the lived experiences of those who are bravely coming forward with negative ones.
And it’s also worth asking yourself: have you really seen the full picture? Sometimes those higher up the ladder - casting directors, producers, people with power and influence - are strategically chosen by perpetrators to be kept “onside.” They align themselves with you to make themselves look more legitimate. They know your good word carries weight, so they make sure you only ever see their best side.
That doesn’t mean you’re at fault. It means you were targeted too - just in a different way. You may have been blindsided on purpose, because they never intended for you to see what was really going on. That’s how manipulation works. It’s not a reflection of your judgment, but of their calculation.
Ask Yourself: Who Gains What?
When allegations surface, perpetrators will often shout “defamation” at the top of their lungs. They’ll try to weaponise their “good” behaviour to defend themselves. They’ll point to people who had positive experiences and use them as evidence that they can’t possibly have done what they’re accused of.
But think about this:
What does the victim gain by speaking out? Usually nothing but stress, fear, potential retaliation, and re-traumatisation.
What does the perpetrator gain by denying it? Protection of their power, money, status, and reputation.
That should tell you a lot.
Defamation Is Often a Red Herring
Defamation law is incredibly complex, expensive, and risky. Victims don’t speak out lightly. They know the risks. If someone is saying something publicly, especially in the press, it’s because they have evidence. In the case of the press - journalists have to do due diligence, and lawyers have to sign it off.
At the same time, perpetrators cry “defamation!” constantly, even when no such thing has happened. It’s a knee-jerk tactic to make people doubt victims and silence conversation. Don’t fall for it.
Remember: Silence Helps the Wrong People
When someone you know is exposed, it can feel easier to stay quiet, ignore it, or cling to your own positive experience with them. But silence and defence only embolden perpetrators and make it harder for victims to be believed.
Even if you don’t feel ready to speak out publicly, you can:
Refuse to be used as a character witness by the perpetrator.
Acknowledge, even privately, that you believe multiple things can be true at once.
Avoid publicly undermining victims with “Well, they were always nice to me…”
You Can Do Better Going Forward
If you’ve unknowingly enabled bad behaviour in the past, it doesn’t make you a terrible person. What matters is what you do next.
You can:
Educate yourself on how exploitation operates in this industry.
Listen when allegations surface, instead of dismissing them as gossip.
Support victims in small but meaningful ways (even just privately saying, “I believe you”).
Set boundaries if a perpetrator tries to use your good experience to defend themselves.
Growth means being willing to admit, “I didn’t see it at the time, but now I do.”
Don’t Let Your Name Be Used to Protect Them
Perpetrators are always quick to align themselves with “legit” people, companies, or organisations. They know that even after being exposed, they can maintain power if they can still point to respected names who’ve worked with them, endorsed them, or spoken positively about them.
If you’ve previously recommended, endorsed, or worked with someone who has since been accused of misconduct, it’s might be worth making that clear publicly. This doesn’t mean you need to post a long statement - but even a simple, factual acknowledgement like:
“I no longer endorse or recommend [Name/Company]. Allegations of misconduct have come to light, and I do not wish my name to be used to legitimise them.”
By revoking your association, you stop them from being able to use your past support as a shield. It also sends a powerful message that accountability matters, that you believe victims, and that “good behaviour with me” does not erase harm done to others.
This industry attracts opportunists. Some enter it with bad intentions from the start, while others get pulled in by the lack of regulation and the ease of exploiting actors who are desperate for opportunities. But the pattern is always the same: perpetrators rely on people around them not to believe, not to question, and not to act.
By refusing to be used as their shield, you take away part of that power. You may not be able to erase the past, but you can make a difference now by standing on the side of truth and accountability.
Written by Alexa Morden
If you’re facing allegations or evidence about someone you know and you’re struggling to come to terms with them, or taking them at face value, read our post on FACING ALLEGATIONS